Ordinary, Happily Ever After

Silent Battles in the Soul

Thomas Paine said, “the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph”.

It reminds me of something Elder Benson said:

Some of the greatest battles we will face will be fought within the silent chambers of our own souls.

Do you ever get tired?  I have to be honest.  I’m tired.  There are times, even in my incredibly blessed and unworthy state, I feel a little like Job.  I haven’t lost my home, my job, my health, or my family, but those silent battles in my soul are draining.  And being emotionally and spiritually drained, in my experience, is much harder than being physically drained.

Several months ago, one of my photography mentors gave me the assignment to make a picture that showed my personal perspective on my life as a photographer.  This is what I came up with.

I put on a good front.  But inside, the battle is raging.  Sometimes it’s really easy to focus on the struggle.  The battle.  The pain and loneliness.  But every once in a while, the truth pierces the fog of despair and self-loathing.  When it does, the knowledge that “Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so” touches my heart and gives me hope.

It reminds me that, because these silent battles are so difficult, the potential for something glorious is that much more sure.  And with the help of my Savior, I’ll be able to win.

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