Well, on advice from Josie, we went to a Mexican Restaurant for lunch on Saturday and then we walked and walked and walked. But, eventually I had to go to sleep, so things didn’t last long. I had two meltdowns yesterday and I’m beginning to feel like a dud. Lucy came three days late with no intervention. Emma was a week late and needed a jump start. This boy is giving me nothing but false alarms through the many clary sage foot/ankle rubs, miles of walking, Evening Primrose pills, and TWO separate doses of Castor Oil (I tried again on Saturday). This child is just not coming out on his own! He’s got four more days. And if he hasn’t come by then, then I have a feeling I will be paying the MDI Hospital a visit for a special cocktail of pitocon with an epidural on the side. And I really don’t want to do that because then we would have to pay the midwives AND the hospital.
It’s ironic. One of the reasons why I decided on the midwives was because I wanted more control over my care and I didn’t want to be told what I could and couldn’t do during labor. Now, when I talk about what I’m feeling and what I would like done all I get is “Sorry, lets try this homeopathic remedy in a few days” or “It’s not even your due date yet, and you sound like everyone else this far along, so don’t worry.”. When what I would like to hear is “OK, what can we do?” To which I would say “Induce me today”. At this point I would gladly give up my ability not to have an IV or a fetal monitor and to be able to walk around or be in the tub in exchange for just having him out of my belly and in my arms. I’m so much better at being a mom then I am at being an incubator.
I know that being pregnant isn’t fun for anyone, especially the last month. But it really isn’t normal to not be able to walk for two months of your pregnancy. I know that meltdowns are normal but are 3 or 4 a day? Is it normal to be in so much pain that you can’t turn over when you are in bed because it feels like your pelvis is being broken in half? I know that I’ve never been the “suffer is silence” type, but I also don’t cry wolf.
It’s a good thing that my Mom is here, otherwise my kids would be starving, dirty and their eye balls will have fallen out of their heads from watching too much television.
Forgive me, I had a dream about running last night, so I’m especially touchy this morning.