It Starts

Today, I again embark on the never ending road to a healthier me. With husband in tow, the first step is to rip off the extra 25 lbs that has been hanging on for dear life since Spencer was born. Since just after Christmas, my body has begun to shut down. I have been feeling (sorry, there is no other word) crappy for the last month. Completely run down, kidney issues, headaches, can’t think straight… the list goes on and on so I haven’t been able to run as much as usually (literally couldn’t, not just not wanting to and feeling lazy) so that wretched number has been starting to creep back up. So Matt and I started Weight Watchers this morning. I’ve done it before and I know it works. I can’t stand the way I look. Matt says he loves me anyway and that he loves my “pretty face”, but seriously, a pretty face can only take you so far.

I’ve been putting this off for so long because I remember the two weeks of hell that I went through the first time. Two weeks of “boy am I hungry!” before my over indulged body realized that I don’t, in fact, need that second slice of pizza (let alone the third or fourth :). It took some doing, but I convinced Matt to do it with me. He wants to loose weight too. The only reason I could do it last time was because I had a great support system (thanks Patti, Donna, Julia, Lisa… and on and on). I told him that if we didn’t work together I was going to have to actually JOIN and pay money to do it. I knew that would work! I want to be like Julie from last seasons Biggest Looser. She was AWESOME!

So this morning we got out our measuring cups and actually measured our cereal and milk. I counted the points for his burrito and added them up in my day planner. Then I got on the computer to check everyone’s blogs. And what was waiting for me? A new post from A Waist is a Terrible Thing to Mind. My favorite inspirational blog. She talked about the weakness of the flesh and quoted 2 Nephi. I’ll quote a small part of her post today:

“Awake, my sons; put on the armor of righteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound, and come forth out of obscurity and arise from the dust.” (2 Nephi 2:23)

Addiction to food was a chain that bound me. Every time I looked in the mirror at 205 I could have easily echoed Nephi’s words and said “oh wretched (woman) that I am!!!” Every time I would see the bottom of a carton of ice cream I finished off with a spoon in front of the TV, I could have easily said “my heart sorroweth because of my flesh”…”I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.” (2 Nephi 4:18)

Here I will substitute my own vices:

“Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul” “Do not anger again because of (pizza). Do not slacken my strength because of (Breyer’s Ice Cream).” “Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say; O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God and the rock of my salvation.”(2 Nephi 4:28-30)

Thank you Calamity Jane! Thank you for this post. Everyone, please head over to A Waist is a Terrible Thing to Mind and give her a big thanks for me. Dr. Phil is right. Willpower is a joke. I can’t make cookies at the request of my sweetheart and then tell myself I won’t eat them. I need to get real. When I have a counter full of fruit and a fridge full of fresh veggies, there is no reason for me to wander aimlessly and complain that there is “nothing to eat”.

I don’t need comfort food. The Lord is my comfort. He has promised to send me the comforter. I think it’s time to ask him for it. If I keep company with the Spirit, I don’t need chocolate.

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