I really enjoyed Relief Society Conference on Saturday. We had a “Soup and Swap” before it. Everyone brought soup or bread or salad and anything that they wanted to get rid of. As we ate, we picked through each other’s things and took home what we wanted. Anything that was left we took to goodwill. It was a hit. I found a pair of shoes and a photo printer. Matt found a level and some other tools.
I really enjoyed the first talk. I want to read it again but the text won’t be up on lds.org until tomorrow. I love how Sister Beck talked about how we should be the best mothers and wives and basically the best people in the world because we have the gospel in our lives. I am trying hard to remember that when I get angry with my girls, or when I’m tempted to I put off making bread for the third day in a row, or I want to let my living room living room turn into a trash bin, or let my children run around naked because I was too lazy to do laundry.
I remember that when I slave in the kitchen all day to prepare a meal that is nutritious, only to have two little noses turn up at the sight of it. I remember it as I’m interrupted again when I’m struggling through another 30 minutes of teaching myself piano because I know that I saved my family $80 this month by not paying a teacher and now my sweetheart is that much closer to getting his watch. I remember it as a make little blue and pink “riding hoods” for my girls, knowing that by the time Halloween comes around, they will want to be something else, but they were happy with them now. I remember it as I watch my darling husband leave shortly after getting home from work for the 5 time this week because I know that he is doing the will of the Lord (mutual, home teaching, priesthood leadership meetings etc). I try to remember it as I rock my baby for the 3 or 4th time in the middle of the night, or as I change his drenched outfit again because the cheap diapers just don’t work as well, but they are half the price.
I love my children and family and I love being a mom. But I don’t always love my job. I hate doing dishes and laundry. I don’t like mopping puke off of the floor or cleaning up after my two year old all day long. I like eating much more than I like cooking, and I wish I had more adult contact during the day. It is a fairly ungrateful job, and it doesn’t pay enough for me to get the things that I want to help me remember it (a nice camera, ect.). I don’t expect any real gratitude from those people that I take care of all day long for at least 20 more years. Maybe more. It’s worth it though. Every time I get a smile from my baby. I know he loves me no matter what I’ve done wrong that day. And when my two year old screams my name in the late hours just to tell me she loves me when I ask what the matter is. And when my four year old, is so loving and tender with her baby dolls, knowing that she learned that from me.
I have his picture hanging in my living room by Liz Lemon Swindle. It’s called Be It Unto Me and it is of Mary holding baby Jesus. Whenever I look at it, I am reminded that Mary once had to go through all of the same things I am. She had to teach her baby how to share, and be polite, how to read. She had to kiss his knees when he fell down while playing and teach him that it was ok when some of the neighbor kids were mean, because he was a child of God and God loved him. Christ was perfect, and he needed a special mother to help him. I am trying my hardest to be a that same kind of special mom for my sweet angels. It is so hard these days when the world is shouting at them to ignore their values and think only of themselves. I need to be better. I need to be more like the woman I want my girls to grow into.