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Skinnier in a Day! The Day I Lost 10lbs Without Losing Any Weight


I got a pixie cut a few weeks ago and boom!  I was instantly skinnier.

Now before you say anything, I love body positivity. My body is amazing. This body has given me six children, ran a marathon, dances like a maniac, and allows me to pursue new and exciting hobbies that I love. And I love how the body positivity movement is opening the world’s eye up to the variety of shapes and sizes that women’s bodies come in. And also the changes that happen in those bodies as we age, have children, or deal with health and lifestyle changes.

No body is like another, and that’s beautiful.

But it doesn’t take one thing into consideration:

I’m allowed to be unhappy with my weight

That’s the one thing the body positivity movement is missing. Actually, that’s what is wrong with the whole self-improvement/self-love paradigm. The minutes someone expresses any displeasure about themselves, they are bombarded with “don’t feel that way” messages.

I can unconditionally love who I am as a woman AND ALSO want to make reasonable changes in how I look. They aren’t mutually exclusive.

There. I said it. I’m allowed to look at the fifty pounds that I’ve gained since my third child was born and not like it.

I was a super skinny kid, but as soon as I hit puberty, my shape changed from a rail to a pear. My daily workout couldn’t counteract eating habits, but if I was careful, and stayed active throughout the day, I did ok.

I was the thinnest I had ever been about a year after Lucy was born. And losing weight after Emma’s birth wasn’t too difficult either.

But Spencer? Not so much. That third pregnancy (followed by three more), added a lot of weight. I have had plenty of time to let go of the excess weight. But I haven’t.

I’m not ashamed of any of the things that contributed to my continued plumpness; including depression, anxiety, binge eating disorder, having six children, divorce, being a single mom, lack of sleep, hormone imbalances, falling in love for the second time in my life, inviting a new man into our home, crippling back pain, etc.

And I’m allowed to acknowledge the sedentary lifestyle and poor diet.

And I’m not proud of it.

Over the last two years alone I’ve gained 20 pounds. Yup. You read that. 20 pounds. I lost 20 pounds while I was going through my divorce (eating made me sick and constant BJJ training). But I gained it all back as soon as life started to settle down.

I’m not unhappy with any of that. But I am unhappy with the results.

The First 10 Pounds

  1. Started school/work. All of a sudden, I had highly processed, and highly yummy snacks at my disposal. Vending machines on campus, the snack closet (filled with whatever I wanted) at work. Whenever I started feeling snacky, I snacked. I knew my calorie intake was going up. But it didn’t stop me.
  2. Active to sedentary. I also went from chasing after kids to sitting all day. Not a good combination.

The Second 10 Pounds

  1. Crippling back pain. In early February I started to feel what I thought was a kidney stone. Turns out it was the combination of a disc rupture and a disc bulge. So one of my discs was pushed out AND leaking fluid. It presented abnormally, so normal physical therapy techniques made it worse, not better. So not only did I go from active to sitting all day, but I physically couldn’t get up to exercise anymore. Fortunately, some steroid shots helped significantly, so I was able to start running again.
  2. Stress eating. Vegetables aren’t as yummy as chocolate, healthy food takes a long time to make, and my brain can only handle one thing at a time. I still Dating is hard, what do you want from me?

Anyone who knows me knows I have a very difficult time losing weight. Like, want to claw my eyes out kind of difficult. And even though my self-esteem and self-worth is not tied to my weight or looks in any way, I don’t like that none of my jeans fit and the arm holes of my t-shirts are getting too tight.

Weight loss is hard, dude!

Weight gain comes very easily to me. I have the metabolism of a walrus and the appetite of a hummingbird (which, apparently have one of the biggest appetites in the world).

Still a ten though…

“You’re not fat!”

Yeah. I know.

But seriously, I can know I’m a ten and still not like my double chin and belly fat. I’m allowed to do that. And I’m allowed to do things that make me feel better about how I feel when I look in the mirror.

Looking Back

I was going through a bunch of pictures of Adam and me and kept thinking, “damn I look good with that hair cut. Why am I growing it out again?” And last week I had enough. My hair took too long to style and I had more bad hair days than not.

I immediately texted my hairdresser/sister-in-law and asked her when my next haircut was.

“This Thursday!”

“Sweet!”

So Thursday rolled around and as I sat in her salon chair she said, “What are we doin’, Court?”

“Pixie. I’m done trying to grow it out.”

“Nice!”

In Liza’s Chair

Killer Post-Run Hair

Yup.  Still a Ten.

skinnier face

This pixie cut instantly made my face look slimmer. And that got me thinking about other ways I can feel better about myself while I’m not-so-patiently waiting for those 20 pounds to come off.

Wardrobe Tweaks that Help You Remember that You Are a Ten

Wear only one solid color at once

Wearing a single color for your entire outfit will help you look skinnier and taller. This is called monochromatic styling (mono = single, chromatic = color). Most people automatically think of black as slimming. And they aren’t wrong. They ARE a little… boring. And since monochromatic styling is, like, a thing, may as well use it to my advantage 😉

Wear clothes that FIT

Wearing clothes too small for you makes you look bigger than you actually are. Find a comfortable fit and make professional alterations if needed. Get a personalized bra fitting at a department store every once in a while to keep up with any changes in your chest size due to weight fluctuations or aging (unless you wear this fantastic bra, in which case, it doesn’t matter!)

Whenever I try and squeeze into something that fit me 20 pounds ago, a muffin top pokes out and the sleeves painfully squeeze my arms. Not worth it! And wearing clothes that are too big aren’t any better.

Spanx. Or don’t. Whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Body shapers and compression garments are more comfortable than ever before. Strategically worn undergarments can minimize those extra lumps that bother you for special occasions (like your wedding day or when you are trying to make your ex-boyfriend’s eyes bleed).

But don’t wear them every day. Life is too short.

Skip the extra fabric on your butt

Mom jeans never looked good on anyone. I don’t care if they are coming back in style. Shop for pants with a flat front and minimal detail. The fewer the folds in the fabric, the better.

Pay attention to how your tops fit

I have this one dress that I used to look amazing in. Now it’s… um… well, not so amazing. My bosoms are a bit bigger than they were two years ago (courtesy of the fantastic surgeon who also got rid of my extremely painful cesarean scar tissue), so shirts that looked good on me then, don’t work so well anymore. Instead of a beautiful, flowing dress, it looks like a tent.

The same principle applies to shirts. Knits show my waist better than woven fabrics and longer shirts deflect attention from a wider middle or broader hips.

No crop tops for me!

Mama needs a new pair of shoes

The experts say that chunky or platform shoes can make your legs look thicker. And that we should look for narrow heels with a slightly pointed toe rather than square or rounded toes. Nude shoes are especially useful because they make your legs look longer.

Of course I don’t follow any of that advice. I wear flip flops, flats, wedges, and running shoes. I want comfortable, fast, and shoes that I think are cute.

Don’t be afraid to show it off!

For a long time I dreaded shopping for swimwear. Fortunately, there are bathing suits designed for every body type. High-cut legs help you look skinnier. Lightweight compression can keep you feeling sleek and comfortable as well. But most of all, walk around like you own that beach!

And confidence makes all the difference here. Especially when you realize no one cares about how you look in a swimsuit. Everyone is too concerned about how they look. Just be confident and enjoy your time in the water!

Other Tips for Looking Skinnier (or thinner, whatever work you like better):

Get that pixie cut!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say “I wish I could pull off a pixie.” Well, you can. If dudes can pull it off, so can everyone else. A pixie cut elongates your neck and eventuates your jaw line (both of which help you look thinner).

And it simplifies your life. BIG time!

And earrings work too. LOVE them with this cut.

Practice good posture

I had to start doing this when my sciatica flared up. And man does it help! Pull your shoulders back. You can also develop strong abdominal muscles and hold your stomach flat at all times. It’s excellent for your health and helps you look leaner too.

Work it!

No matter what your pants or dress size is, you’ll feel more attractive when you cultivate a healthy sense of self-esteem and genuine affection for other people. Focus on your most attractive qualities and features.

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