The Beginning of a New Day

Last week, as I was preparing to leave playgroup, I went into shock. At first, I thought the reason I was sweating was because I was wearing a sweater and was carrying a ton. So I sat down to chat with a friend so I could cool off. The sweating just got worse and then I started seeing stars and getting dizzy. I talked to my friend about it and found out that she was hypoglycemic and thought that I was too. After I got home (after stopping at Burger King to eat) I looked it up on the internet and now I’m convinced that I have it too. But since the only way to treat it is with diet and exercise, even if I don’t have it I’ll be better off if I just pretend anyway 🙂

Something else I discovered was that low blood sugar + dieting = a starving Spencer. So I stopping counting calories for a few days and discovered that Spencer had not (as I originally thought) forgotten how to nurse, he just wasn’t getting anything. It only took one day of eating more and he was my happy baby again. And if I needed any further proof that my milk supply was low, I had thought he was growing out of his spitting up phase a whole six months before his sisters did. Twas not so. He wasn’t spitting up because he wasn’t eating anything. Poor guy. I didn’t think that my desire to be thin would hurt my poor helpless baby.

But I still really want to loose weight. I’m going to just bite the bullet and do what I know I should be doing. Avoid sugar (with the occasional small reward), eat less cheese (so sad) eat more fruits and vegetables and mostly eat complex carbs (it’s a good thing I have a great whole wheat bread recipe). It’s nice to pretend that I can just exercise my fat away (I burned over 600 calories on the treadmill this morning, thank goodness for 11% incline), but I just can’t do it. I realized that after I had Emma. So after Spencer I thought, well I’ll eat well AND exercise a lot and get the weight off even faster. I trained myself to eat only three regular size meals a day because even though I know that six small meals is better, I don’t seem to be able to do small meals well, if I do six meals then I eat twice as much. 3 meals seemed to work. I worked out every day and ate well below my calorie allowance and after three months I have lost a total of 4 pounds. Grrrr. Not fast enough! According to the math, I should have lost a lot more than that. So I kicked it up another notch. I exercise even more, ate even less. Still technically enough, but less. I figured, hey they can do it on the biggest loser, I can do it to. I didn’t expect a 30 pound loss in a week but I expected maybe a pound a week and I just wasn’t getting it.

So it starts today (says the hypocrite as she chows another handful of cheez-its). More whole grains and vegetables and less cheese. The cheese is going to be hard. I have a love-hate relationship with cheese… but I mostly love it J We don’t really eat a lot of processed food anyway, we just eat to much of the fatty (aka delicious) non-processed stuff. I think the hardest part is going to be eating enough, believe it or not. I have this habit of looking at all of the wonderful healthy options in my house when I’m hungry and just saying “Yes it’s healthy, yes it would only take 5 minutes to make, but it’s just not yummy enough to bother with 5 minutes worth of almost work”. So I just don’t eat anything and wait until I’m so hungry that, 1. I’m not hungry anymore, we’ve all hit that point on Fast Sunday or 2. I’m so hungry that even lentil burgers sound good J (I love you Heather.). Another thing that REALLY struggle with is stopping. When I have the opportunity to eat something delicious, my taste buds take over. I can’t seem to stop eating until I’m so full I want to die or it’s gone. That’s why I ate a whole bag of Sun Chips yesterday (ok so sometimes I DO eat processed foods, I went shopping when I was hungry.) Every day (mostly )I’m going to let you know how I’ve done. And I’m going to let you know how much I weigh that day. I’ve heard that you shouldn’t weigh yourselves every day, but lets be serious, we all do it anyway.

This morning, I after my run, I weighed 155. I did 20 minutes worth of fartleks (alternating fast running and slow running) on a 3% incline and then 35 minutes of walking at 11% incline. I had two mini bagels for breakfast and a bowl of fruity pebbles for lunch (I know, I know, don’t say it). I had something else for lunch but I can’t remember what it was, I munched on cheez –its and had a fabulous roast beef sandwich with brie cheese on a croissant with mayo (LOTS of mayo) I’ll try to be better tomorrow.

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