I, unfortunately, find myself in the position of needing to become a working mom. A few weeks ago I told you how I was going to “focus on my career“. I’m sure those of you who have been with me over the years may think that I’m possessed.
I mean, who goes from a full-time, homeschooling mom, to a public school mom who wants a full-time job in a matter of six or seven months?
Well, I do. A woman whose life is on the line and whose future is far from certain.
After over three weeks of living apart (it might not sound like a lot, but to me it was an eternity), Matt has moved back home and we are trying to work through our problems. But 16 years of built up confusion, poor communication, and even a little bit of resentment, is going to take time to fix. And the outcome is dependent on two parties, giving 100% to each other. And while I am completely committed to not only making our marriage work, but helping it thrive and be better than ever, this experience has shown me that nothing in life is certain and I am not prepared to take on the responsibility of financially supporting a family with six children. And that is going to change.
My first choice is to work for myself. I enjoy the process of running a business. I enjoy accounting, market research, meeting with clients, creating new content, brainstorming new ideas, creating art, and changing people’s lives. I love it!
But I suck at marketing and sales. Like, super duper, suck.
I have no doubt that I have the intellect, creativity, drive, and work ethic to be a successful entrepreneur, but at some point I need to be able to bring in a paycheck. When Matt’s job was footing the bill and I had all the time in the world to get things going, it was ok for me to take my time. But I can’t do that anymore. I need to put the pedal to the medal and make it work.
If it doesn’t, my entrepreneurial dreams will be put on the back burner (not down the drain) and I’ll find a dreaded J-O-B. But honestly, while the idea of not being able to set my own hours and deadlines and work from home makes me sad, I also know that I am a great employee and am an optimistic person who will likely thrive in any job I am able to find. And I’ll use that experience to help me move up and further my goals… which, at this point, is financial independence.